What is Autism? Part 2

As I was saying, after that first ( Sissy-4yr) and second diagnosis (Jack-20 months), we threw ourselves into the autism and special needs world. With out a clue of what we were doing. It's funny how so many people who "know someone who has a child with autism" were so quick to tell us what we need to do. (Well, they still do, but now we realize they only mean well) In fact, other autism moms were quick to tell us "you need to try this diet, supplements or therapies" etc.

So we did it ALL! Or tried at least.

We jumped in with all we had. I wore myself out emotionally and physically. I was up on the Internet till all hours of the night. Feeling guilty for the all the therapies I kept reading about. All the ones we knew we couldn't afford. Not to mention the time and availability for all these "magical cures".

So I stopped.

Took a step back.

I took a breath. A few of them actually.

I realized this was a marathon, NOT a sprint. We were in this for the long haul. I needed to have enough strength and endurance to be there for my kids. Not to mention to have my wits about me.

ALL of my kiddos needed me. And I needed my sanity and to stop the crazy lady I had become.

So we did what we could. I tried to not beat myself up for what we couldn't do or afford. Some therapies and supplements worked, others didn't. The gf/cf/sf diet worked wonderfully for my step-daughter, but the boys wouldn't touch it if their lives depended on it. We truly learned as we went. You know the saying, "you live and learn"? That become my motto.

We LIVED with our hearts open and vulnerable. But we learned SO much! And continue to do so.

We would try what ever we could, and we tried to give it enough time to decipher what was going to work or if it was time to move on. The most important thing, our children THRIVED. More so than most would have given them credit for. I'm ashamed to admit it, but sometimes I'd find my self thinking the same things. That I was never going to hear my babies say "I love you mommy".

But they did!

All of them, eventually.

And that comes in as a close second as being the most incredible thing to happen in my life. The first being the moment they were born and brought into our sweet family!

We work and work on it. Yes, we do have successes, but with that usually comes regressions. But that will NEVER slow us down. We are determined to make their lives as happy and functional as possible.

I am so extremely blessed to be their Mama! They teach me WAY more everyday, than I could possibly even dream of teaching them. They teach me joy. acceptance, patience, kindness, and best of all...UNCONDITIONAL love. They teach me to work hard! Even when it is SO hard! We just have to push through!

Seriously, everyday I count my blessings that I GET to be their mommy!! I couldn't be MORE proud!!



-B